Title: Understanding and Learning

General Information about Item 

• Verbal Lore, proverb
• Language: English
• Informant: Rabbi Meir Cohen Goldstein
• Date Collected: 5 October 2018

Informant Data

• Rabbi Meir Cohen Goldstein was born in Phoenix, Arixona and received his master’s of rabbinic studies and rabbinic ordination from the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies at the American Jewish University. Goldstein worked for three years at Elon University as the associate chaplain for Jewish Life after serving as rabbi for the Commack Jewish Center in Commack, New York. He began his position of tenured Dartmouth Hillel Rabbi in July 2018.

Contextual Data

• Social Context: Rabbi Goldstein uses this proverb either when giving advice to couples or when discussing ways to overcome what he called, “seemingly unbridgeable chasms.” He has used it in formal settings when teaching at Dartmouth, but also recited it in a personal setting. The piece can be applied to any situation where two people have different opinions and must be reminded to consider each other’s point of view.
• Cultural Context: Goldstein says that to him it is a reminder that, when we are on a different level as people who are most committed and involved in our lives, it is our obligation to go out of our way to do whatever is necessary to hear them from the place where they speak. The piece therefore asks, “How do you hear someone who is speaking their own truth from a place that is different from your place?” He therefore thinks that although the piece is Jewish in origin, it is widely applicable to many current situations in the world where people should listen to each other.

Item

The piece was recited orally by Rabbi Goldstein and he also kindly provided a written transcript.

“If you’re wife is short, bend down to listen to her.”

Collector’s Comments

• I was intrigued by this proverb  as all other Jewish proverbs collected were either clearly Biblical ( more strict, more literal, a clear commandment) or Yiddish (often excessively humorous or outrageous), and this proverb does not clearly fit either category. Rabbi Goldstein’s use of the proverb in English suggests it is used with a more reform and American style of Judaism, in which participants do not necessarily know Yiddish or Hebrew.
• In the same way that the proverb does not clearly fit into the “Biblical” or “Yiddish” categories of Jewish proverbs, it also does not fit into any of Dundes’ structures. However, the proverb does use humorous or at least cute imagery to convey advice that Goldstein suggests is commonly used in particularly tense situations: when any two groups are arguing due to a fundamental misunderstanding or difference of views. Therefore, this proverb is an excellent example of the function of proverbs to dispel tension and provide advice.

Collector’s Name: Hannah Margolis 

 

Hannah Margolis, 20

Hinman Box 2464

Dartmouth College

Hanover, NH 03755

Russian 13

Fall 2018

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