General Information about Item:

• Verbal Folkore, Proverb
• Language: Chinese
• Country of Origin: China
• Informant: Sydney Zhou
• Date Collected: 10-17-18

Informant Data:

Sydney Zhou is a senior Engineering student at Dartmouth College, pursuing medical school. She was born and raised in Plano, Texas. Her parents immigrated to the United States from China before her birth. Her parents were dedicated in preserving ties to Chinese culture for their children, even while attempting to assimilate into American culture and learn English. Sydney grew up celebrating Chinese holidays, as well as attending Chinese school to learn how to read and write Chinese.

Contextual Data:

Sydney heard this proverb from her mother in elementary school. She was having a difficult time dealing with her friends at the time. She was venting to her mother, when she told Sydney this particular proverb. Since then, Sydney has remembered it whenever she has to face a challenge with a friend that may not be speaking well of her.

Item:

Orally transmitted proverb:

背后说好话，才是真朋友

Bèihòu shuō hǎohuà, cái shì zhēn péngyǒu

He is a good friend that speaks well of us behind our backs

Associated file (a video, audio, or image file):

Transcript:

• Bèihòu shuō hǎohuà, cái shì zhēn péngyǒu
• The translation of my proverb is he is a good friend that speaks well of us behind our backs. I heard this proverb from my mom in elementary school. I was having a hard time with my friends and I was telling her about the problems I was having. My mom is from China and is always quoting Chinese proverbs. She told me this proverb after I told her about all my friend drama. I still remember it today when another issue with my friends comes up. This proverb means that you are supposed to trust your friend to do the right thing – even if you’re not there. You’ll most likely hear this proverb when your confronting difficulties in your relationships.

Sydney says this proverb is meaningful because she believes this exemplifies what a true friend is supposed to be. She believes that there are multiple dimensions to this proverb. There is the obvious meaning of what a friend is supposed to do – which is to speak well of their friend even when they are not there. However, she also discusses how friendship is a relationship that goes beyond pretense. It consists of a trust deep enough that one would not have to worry about what their friend is doing or saying when they are not there to witness it. She explains that this is an integral part of friendship, and this level of trust is something she looks for in each of her relationships in her life, friend or otherwise.

Collector’s Comments:

Sydney deals with constant stress as a pre-Med student and an Engineering major. She needs the stability of her friends to help her get through challenges, which is demonstrated through her remembrance of this particular proverb. The proverb follows an inverted if-then structure, giving the result first before the cause.

Collector’s Name: Rachel

Tags/Keywords:

• Chinese
• Friends
• Company