Conference Draft: Free Music Streaming
Commentary:
Conference Draft: Free Music Streaming
Commentary:
“Literature Review Revision Plan – Teddy Ni
I plan on adding further details to certain parts of my essay, as some parts jump to conclusions that the reader can’t follow easily. In addition, I will add more sources that are more opinionated, as currently my sources are more informative than opinionated. Comments made my Jason and Patrick particularly pointed out that more details and more in-depth analysis of the sources could be extremely helpful for the reader. Finally, I will make some small changes, like editing the conclusion to make it more argumentative and less of a summary.”
Teddy, I think the most pressing place for you to begin your revision is with organization: I’m not sure the paragraphs make sense in this order. Consider creating a reverse outline in which you describe the purpose or main idea of each paragraph. Once you’ve done that, re-order your paragraphs so that connected ideas follow one another.