Underneath the Rug

Oct 17, 2022

I once was a perfect girl. My life was spotless. I knew what I was doing. I knew where I was going. My life was perfect. Everything was perfect. (more…)

Learning to Love Food

Oct 10, 2022

TW: disordered eating

When I was thirteen years old, I was capable of immensities. If I wanted something I tried unreasonably hard to get it. I developed, as well, a vanity in my young mind where previously there had been none—I wanted to look good. Specifically, other girls had slim faces and twenty-five-inch waists and about half the thigh meat I did. It was stubbornness and pride that drove me to give up eating. (more…)

All the Simple Things

May 2, 2022

Like many American suburbanites, my mom is a big fan of yoga. I have accompanied her to the studio since I was eight years old. Our Sunday morning ritual included 9am vinyasa in our neighbor’s makeshift basement meditation room and a trip to the farmers market for the local baker’s special salty focaccia loaf. (more…)

on melancholia

Apr 25, 2022

When you exist within a racialized body in America, redefinition is a daily occurrence. I can only speak for myself, but it feels like I have to retrace a path into personhood every time I wake up. I have to remember what my breaking point is. I have to remember what boxes I must carefully press myself into and which ones I am certainly not allowed in. I have to remember which versions of history I can learn; I can’t see myself in any of them. It feels like there’s a half-formed spirit that phases through the boundaries of my skull every time I wake up. Whatever racial consciousness I should have is fragmented, dissociated, and perpetually haunted. (more…)

The Past and The Present: Reconciling Trauma with the Dartmouth Bubble

Apr 4, 2022

TW: depression, suicide, mental illness, trauma

Winter term at Dartmouth was extremely difficult for me. I imagine this sentiment was felt by several first-year students for various reasons, but I especially resonate with those whose home lives are extraordinarily challenging. Fall term felt euphoric: everything was new and shiny and the reality of what my life now is had not quite settled in yet. How can it be true that I lived a painful 18 years prior to Dartmouth, and now I’m surrounded by those who have no idea what I’ve been through? Does this make my trauma invalid? (more…)

Reflections on Peer Support: From the 21F-22W Cohort

Mar 1, 2022

We are coming to the end of our training for the new 21F-22W cohort of peer support volunteers! These volunteers have committed to undergoing over 50 hours of training in the past two terms and are eager to start serving their peers next term. To close out this training cycle, we asked the volunteers to reflect on the training, the skills they’ve learned, and the importance of mental health. Here’s what some of them had to say:

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The Case for Cliches

Feb 21, 2022

Therapy is helpful, but it is also incredibly frustrating. I’m no stranger to the neutral walls and padded seating of a therapist’s office, nor am I unfamiliar with the phrases that get passed from one CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) specialist to another. (more…)