MHU is excited to announce a new blog series, Conversations with a Counselor, featuring the new counselors joining the Counseling Center this year! Throughout the term, MHU officers will be sitting down with the new counselors to discuss everything mental health, from personal anecdotes to tips and advice.
This week, counselor Yuling Lai, MA, NCSP, sat down with Dakota Ma ’22 to talk about her unique path to counseling, what she looks forward to at Dartmouth, self-acceptance, and her favorite self-care activity. At Dartmouth, she provides counseling in both English and Mandarin to undergraduate and graduate students, and has interests in developmental trauma, eating/body image concerns, international students, and LGBTQ+ communities.
**Comments from Dakota are denoted with a D and comments from Yuling Lai are denoted with a Y.**
–––––
D: Tell us a little bit about yourself – what’s your name, pronouns, and role at Dartmouth?
Y: My name is Yuling Lai. My last name is pronounced “lie”, but according to my first language, it actually means trust (“赖”), so students find it funny to remember. I use she/her/hers pronouns. I’m a staff counselor at Dartmouth, and I started last September.
D: Welcome to Dartmouth! I’m a biology and psychology major, so topics like mental health are really interesting to me, but I want to hear your story – what led you to pursue mental health?
Y: Funny you mentioned your major. I used to be a biochemistry major. When I graduated from college, I worked in a chemistry lab for about a year. One time I had a conversation with a colleague, and I realized it was my only meaningful conversation in weeks. I needed a little bit more [regular social interaction]. I tried teaching and I taught a huge class, but the one-on-one conversations with students were the ones I appreciated more. Slowly, I moved towards advising and counseling, which started my counseling career.
D: From your experiences so far at Dartmouth, what do you think is essential for maintaining good mental health, especially during COVID?
Y: Especially for high-achieving students [like at Dartmouth], self-acceptance is so important. When we encounter difficulties, our habit is to keep pushing forward. There is a point where we cannot push anymore, and people may respond from a view of “oh something is wrong with me”, but it’s okay to be okay. Particularly with COVID, there are a lot of restrictions, and students are dealing with that. In this time, we need to ask ourselves, “okay, what are things I can accept, and what are things I can push for more?” So, accept who you are, and know your own limits.
D: Hearing you say that made me think back to March, when facing this reality was tough on many of us. What is something you do to de-stress and take your mind off everything?
Y: Self-care is important. People think “wow, self-care, that’s so fancy”, but something small you can enjoy every day to help de-stress is the definition of self-care to me. I take a special interest in doing laundry. I enjoy the rhythmic sounds, scents, warmth, and soothing texture of the clothes when they come out of the dryer. Laundry is also a timed task, so it’s predictable. During this time, I can read a book or listen to music. The main idea is that self-care can be very individualized and doable. That’s why I enjoy my laundry so much – I can do it without involving someone else, and there’s always something to wash!
D: That’s a great point you make about self-care being anything to help us relax. Here at Dartmouth, are there any mental health initiatives you want to participate in or start up?
Y: I enjoy working with international students and people from diverse backgrounds, and I want to start something for students with family issues. I have a lot of students telling me how difficult it is to navigate online classes from home. I do see the pain – some of the issues I’ve heard have been so problematic, and the school still expects these students to learn and perform in addition to dealing with stressful family life during COVID. To me, learning how to set boundaries and have proper conversations within families can be beneficial.
D: Remote learning is already a weird dynamic and navigating academics on top of family stress can be overwhelming. Apart from these initiatives, what else are you looking forward to?
Y: If we can interact with students in person, that’ll be lovely. People sometimes make counseling sound all scary, but we are people too. I also want to work more with students facing immigration issues, whether they’re undocumented or being restricted due to visa issues. During this time, students are sharing a lot of anxiety and many don’t feel safe, not just because of COVID, so I hope I can offer some comfort to them and to myself.
D: Absolutely. It’s a tough time for everyone, and different groups of students face their own unique set of challenges. Before we wrap up, is there anything else you’d like to tell students?
Y: Balance. Balance. Balance. It’s important to work hard, study hard, and even play hard. At the same time, you need to sleep, eat, and have a balanced life. When you try to go go go, you also need time to recharge.
–––––
Learn more about the Counseling Center and counselors here: https://students.dartmouth.edu/health-service/counseling/about/counseling-center-staff
Recent Comments