According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, in 2020, “men died by suicide 3.88x more than women.” This is an extremely concerning statistic. Why are men more likely to die from suicide?
I believe that the largest reason is societal pressure. Due to stereotypes about toxic masculinity, I am willing to bet that many men on this campus have been told, by parents, popular media, or friends, that men don’t cry. Men who express emotions are ridiculed by society and their peers.
Additionally, the “work ethic” that is so prevalent in our capitalist society drives mental health crises in men. In many parts of our country and the world, men are stereotyped as the providers for their families and community. Society and popular culture force men to attach a significant amount of their value to being able to work, and men internalize this responsibility. And, what happens when that work dries up? The rate of suicide increases: economists have found that higher unemployment is correlated with higher deaths of despair.
Additionally, there is a massive stigma against therapy and mental health counseling for everyone, but especially for men. With such a stigma against mental health treatment, it is no surprise that, according to the CDC:
“Nearly one in four women received any mental health treatment (24.7%) in the past 12 months [2020], compared with 13.4% of men.”
This stigma forces people, especially men, to avoid counseling, and instead push down their feelings. I would know, as I did that for years; I recognize the temptation. My senior year of high school and freshman year of college were hell. I was bottling up my emotions and channeling them in harmful ways. COVID-19 struck, and I was isolated and lonely in my first term at Dartmouth. It was a dark period of my life. But I reached out to my close friends and family, and they encouraged me to enter therapy.
It took me a couple of months just to accept the fact that I was struggling, and to accept that I needed help. For the longest time, I felt that admitting that I needed help was a sign of weakness. I avoided talking about therapy with even my closest friends, even making up “meetings” to cover for my sessions.
However, once I started therapy, it was as if a fog had lifted from my mind. I had internalized my feelings for so long that I was used to being constantly tense and agitated. Once I learned to release these emotions while talking to someone, that agitation dissipated. I began to talk to my friends about my experiences and started to encourage some to explore therapy.
Therapy can help you discover things about yourself that you had never considered, things that explain your past behavior. Even if you aren’t currently in crisis, therapy can still be a meaningful experience. It allows you to vent, cry, and complain to a non-judgmental person. You can develop meaningful life skills, and slowly change your toxic habits. However, therapy will only work for you if you want to change. Being forced into it will help no one.
When your friends are going through dark times, be there for them. When you are going through dark times, reach out to friends. Be aware of the resources that Dartmouth offers, including free counseling.** Use these resources and recommend them to your friends.
Men, you don’t have to suffer alone; your emotions are valid. Reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness, but rather, a sign of strength.
You don’t have to suffer in silence.
~ Ethan Dixon ’24
**Dartmouth’s Counseling Resources:
Immediate help: https://students.dartmouth.edu/health-service/counseling/appointments/get-help-now
Schedule a counseling appointment: https://students.dartmouth.edu/health-service/counseling/appointments/make-appointment
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