4 thoughts on “Peer Review”
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Margarita Ruiz Severinghaus
Transcending the Dominican Frontier: An Oral History by Mon Yuck Yu
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Hi Mon Yuck!
I just wanted to say that I really like the set up you have for your website! I really like how you divided the Oral History into different sections and then divided those amongst themselves. I think that’s really cool and has a nice polished touch! I also really like your introduction– especially how it sparks the reader’s interest in learning more about Rita’s life! I also really like the video you included. It’s very professionally done! I would recommend adding below the video a little more about the video such as Produced and Filmed by: _______. You could also add the copyright or include the year/ date it was filmed just to let the viewer know where it came from. Good luck on your project!
Best,
Metztli
Also, for your introduction, I would recommend probably starting out with something about Rita that you think really defines her, but start it out in a more macroscopic/global level and narrow it down so that it ties in with the project. That often serves as a great hook and brings more interest into the text. Maybe offer an example or two of what she does in your introduction… kind of like “show” rather than “tell.” If you have any questions, just let me know! 🙂
I have to agree with Metztli I love the way that you broke down your sections. It’s very well organized and the titles are descriptive and eye catching. I would decide how exactly what purpose you wanted the introduction to serve. Personally I think that the introduction is one of the only places that the voice of the interviewer can be seen and I think that it’s best to play up that voice, bu that’s entirely your choice.
If you decide not to go that route I think showing not telling is amazing advice if you have the anecdotes to spare or maybe pick one from your oral history and use it as a tie in to the rest of the Oral History.
It’s looking good and am looking forward to your final version. Your colleagues have given you solid advise in their peer review.