Karen: As I mentioned in our group conference, the audio comment above constitutes my main feedback. Below are some scattered notes that served as a foundation for the audio comment. Use it at your own risk! Argument/structure: – Intro needs more shared context (introduction assumes too much right now) The Effect of Thompson ARena seems to be kind of like an intro in some ways; x. given the audience, you may want to avoid the meta-descriptive language and integrate this with the introduction page somehow. We want an introduction that expresses motive in an accessible way. – your motive in the intro (seems calm, but it’s actually lively)…you’ll want to focus on an interpretive puzzle (perhaps having to do with HOW the space creates community?). -ideally, you”ll mke all pages argumentative (what does the interior section teach us?) – what does the background teach us? – perhaps a robust lens summary page; we need to understand what size means and why we should value it before we look at the arena, I think. -Room for greater precision in the comparison section, based on those richer accounts of fleming. – very interesing anlaysis on the achieving page; room for expansion might include offering an identity section -the section on background is very interesting; those socio-economic divisions you see in hillsborough; those aren’t erased, right? they’re just obscured by the design? Design: – some confusion with the page ordering (can use page order) – media descriptions need to be in captions; include also credit – could use section titles to mor clearly establish argumentative purposes (background of arenas = arenas and collective identity)