Conference Draft: Case Study Draft
Commentary:
“Megan McIntyre: Be specific. Give me a timeline/timeframe.
Megan McIntyre: If you want to give specific, useful background on the service, begin here.
Megan McIntyre: Be specific. Give me a timeline/timeframe.
Megan McIntyre: If you want to begin with the most compelling story, start here.
Megan McIntyre: This isn’t the most pressing place for revision, but you have a tendency toward long, complicated sentences. Read this sentence aloud for clarity.
Megan McIntyre: Who is the source here?
Megan McIntyre: If you’re going to include section headings, consider ones that are more descriptive.
Megan McIntyre: Can you be more specific here about what kind of impact? Positive? Negative? Mixed? Impact on what specifically? How artists make music? How they sell it? How much control they have?
Megan McIntyre:
You need a specific, significant transition here.”