Skip to content

Yesenia Mejia CB

The Distance Between Us

Reyna Grande is a Mexican American writer. Her book "The Distance Between Us: A Memoir" recounts her experience before and after immigrating to the United States. After arriving in the U.S., Reyna quickly realizes that the American Dream is far from what she expected. Her father becomes an angry alcoholic, and her mother grows cold and emotionally distant. Reyna Grande turns to books and school to escape her abusive household, eventually obtaining an M.F.A. in Creative Writing. At a time when immigration politics are at the forefront of social discourse, Reyna Grande gives a voice to the childhood immigrant experience. 

I sent my mother, Mariana, a copy of the book in Spanish. 

"I read the book every night and cried at least twice while reading it because I could relate to every single chapter of the book. I am the youngest woman in my family, like Reyna, and I was too young to understand my immigration to the United States. But I knew we were poor, and El Norte is where people move to make money."

"Did your family struggle economically in Mexico?"

"Oh sí, desde que estábamos nosotros chiquitos. [My parents] went to Mexico City because they heard there were job opportunities there but they only worked enough to pay rent. [My mother] was a …how do you say it...house maid, and your grandpa was a construction worker. But sometimes they didn’t even have enough money for the rent, so they split me and my siblings up. My dad told his brothers to take care of us when we were little and we ended up with different families so that [my parents] could save more money, and even then they couldn’t save [enough to survive]. So [after a year] we all returned to Guerrero with our parents because [our uncles] had more kids and didn’t have enough food or money to feed extra children. My dad was as an obrero, but he didn’t get paid very well. He also worked at the campo, but it wasn’t enough money to feed all of us. So [his siblings] told him that if he [worked in the United States] they would pay him better, so he started going to the U.S. for a year at a time."

Like Reyna, my mother grew up very poor in Guerrero, Mexico. My mom remembers the heartbreak she experienced when her parents left to the United States and how scared she felt to leave to a strange country.
"Why did you leave Mexico?"

"First my dad came, and his workmates convinced him ...when they were passing the amnesty...he said that some of his friends convinced him to file for permanent residency. He didn’t want to because he didn’t want to stay [in the United States]. He filed the paperwork because they told him he would receive a work permit, and then my mom followed so that she could also help him work. We all stayed behind and then they decided to bring us to El Norte. So, it was something unplanned, they didn’t plan on staying. First they sent for me and my two oldest siblings. The two youngest siblings stayed in Mexico because we didn’t plan to stay for very long. But after we spent a while in Texas, they decided to bring my two younger brothers, Carlos and Abel."

When you and your siblings were split up, did you get to talk to your mom?

"We would talk every week for about a year when we were all separated. My mom would cry because she missed us… for a year we were like that."

My mother went a year without seeing her siblings or parents. She said that her mother, my grandmother, would call her once a week and would often cry because she missed her. While my mom was reading Reyna Grande's book, she would call me and tell me where she was in the book. She said she would remember feeling like she couldn't even remember what her parents looked like, but she did not want to leave Mexico because she was scared. 
"How did you feel about leaving Mexico?"

"Two weeks before the trip, my mom told me that I was going to El Norte after all and I started crying because I didn’t want to go. I cried throughout the entire trip because I wasn’t sure what to expect or what it would be like. I was told that the people in the U.S. speak another language and I thought I wouldn’t understand and … I thought … that people would be strange and that I wouldn’t understand them."

Grande describes the stress of moving to the United States, learning English and finding her place at school. 

Pertenencia, Conexión y Vida Comunitaria:

"My mother obtained legal status when she was 18 years old and later naturalized."
"What efforts have you made to keep connections to your Mexicanidad?"

"Every opportunity we have, we get together for birthdays, celebrations and Mexican holidays. We make nuestra comida, como la haciamos en Mexico, when we were little. My family lives very close to each other and we see each other often. We listen to our music and talk about how we used to live."
What significance does citizenship have, and why did you decide to naturalize?

"I think it is one of the biggest accomplishments someone can receive when coming to the U.S.. It give you the ability to vote, and receive benefits. For example, if I didn’t have my mom here, I would be able to file for a visa so that she could visit me. As an LPR I wouldn’t have been able to do that. If I had kids from a previous marriage I would also be able to file for citizenship for them. I became a citizen, well, initially because I married your father who was undocumented. I filed a petition so that he would be able to legalize his status. As an LPR it was taking way too long. Also because when someone comes here and they don’t plan on going back to Mexico, because when someone starts a family.. hecha raices… it’s best to become a citizenship. Because I think that I am here to stay. I don’t think.. My kids are grown. I don’t plan on leaving."
Do you feel like you belong in the United States?

"Yes, I belong here."

Why?

"Because I have been… I am Mexicana by birth, but I am also TejanaI am Mexican because I was born there, but I consider myself “from here” because I have spent most of my time here. I spent my adolescent life here, I got married, I got my first job, my kids. So yes, I belong here."
What are your biggest accomplishments? What do you feel are still challenges?

"Becoming a citizen. Also, being a homeowner. Not a lot of people can say that. Also having a job. My kids were born here and are in school or of at college. My oldest daughter is at one of the best colleges! Those are some of my biggest achievements. My challenges (pauses) … raising… all of my kids, all three of them, I would like to see all of them have a career. But if not, if they don’t want to study, as long as they are not getting into trouble. Que no anden en malos pasos."
What are your plans for the future?

"Pues...planes para el futuro? I don’t desire to have a lot of money. All I would want is to keep working and save enough money to retire without any worries. A lot of people who retire end up going back to work or find themselves struggling. That’s the only thing I desire. I hope that my husband and I are not worried when we retire. Pero quien sabe con este Trump."

Authors like Reyna Grande give a voice to the less-known experiences of child immigrants. 

Thank you to my mom, for being brave.