I am so glad that I don’t write blog posts on a typewriter. If so, I’d be using up more pieces of paper than available in my house, all in the attempt of creating an intriguing first sentence. In the end, I’ve stuck with this beginning, and this will have to do. I imagine I won’t be changing this blog post further once this is published, so that brings me some sense of relief, I suppose.

Anyways, a reflection on 21F, what this blog post was supposed to be about. 21F has been nothing short of an adventure, if I had to sum it up in a word.

If I were to describe me during fall quarter, I would say: “The girl who spent too much time studying and not enjoying life enough.”

This winter break has been so long, long enough for me to get uncomfortably well acquainted with my thoughts and feelings, as I have no idea what the hell to do otherwise. I’ve also gotten well acquainted with reality shows, from dating to realtors to “I don’t even know what genre this is at this point”, reality shows have undoubtedly been one of my highlights throughout this break. It’s been interesting taking a peek at people’s lives, however scripted they might be. It humbles me, but also reminds me that:

1. unnecessary drama is not it, unless you’re just doing it for comedy…which…I don’t know why you would stir up drama for laughs.
2. I’m not as clueless as I thought, compared to the people on reality shows at least. But then again, maybe that’s why they’re on reality shows. Is reality really that full of such clueless people? If so, I’m even less enthusiastic about graduating college and entering the big big world.

Yet, I can’t help but to romanticize my life, to dream and to imagine that my life will turn out exactly how I want it to with a dash of flair, a sprinkle of gentleness, and an unspecified amount of romance. College is definitely not going to turn out that way with how it’s been going now, but one can hope.

21F has taught me a lot of things about myself, the people around me, and the society I live in. It’s also taught me a lot about Dartmouth, about Hanover, about the east coast as well. I’ve learned a couple of things I’m fine with sharing:

1. I prefer the cold, the dry cold, over the heat of southern california.
2. I thought I’d dread living in such a small college town but it has not been as bad as I’d hoped. I’ve gone coffee-exploring, food-exploring, bookstore-exploring, etc. in the time there. It’s been so nice.
3. I need to study more and take classes I’m genuinely interested in. I want to be able to love learning again. It’s been a while since I’ve done that…I think taking chem has killed my love of learning, just like how it did in high school. Needless to say, I won’t be pursuing a chem major.
4. I want to have more time for myself during college. It’s a time of realization, growth, and learning, but I don’t want my college years to be filled with just my experiences of studying, of pulling almost all-nighters, pushing myself to my limits. I want it to be full of happiness, content in most of what I do, and learning that way. I want to be surrounded with friends who care about me and who I care about, and I want to learn with them, to be able to hold their hand and fearlessly jump into the unknown that awaits us, our unstable future and pre-med dreams.

Here’s to a caring 2022, to one more year and to many more experiences that will shape me into some sort of person with some sort of identity I can be proud of in the future. Here’s to the hope that I carry with me, a new hope for a new year.