Nowadays we live in a world that is always pushing us to be like everyone else, to change ourselves so as to fit into what social media or the world around us finds cool and acceptable. But when you look closely and hear different people’s testimonials and even check with your own experience, you will come to realize that there is no happiness that is found in changing oneself with the intent to try to fit into a certain group.
It’s a common saying and truth that every one of us on this planet is completely unique and is identical to no one else. I strongly believe that that is what makes this world beautiful, because imagine if all the billions of people on this planet were exactly identical to one another? Honestly speaking this world would be very and very boring. This brings me to the main point of this article, every one of us is uniquely beautiful and important just the way s/he is. It makes no sense for us to be changing ourselves trying to be like another person. I strongly believe that there is a reason why I am the way I am and there is a reason why you are the way you are, personality-wise. Because trying hard to be like another person will never yield to anything other than heartaches, ever-piling insecurities, sadness, and failure because you can never and never succeed in being a complete version of someone else other than yourself. So, why waste your time running after an assured failure when you can instead invest that time and energy into pursuing the assured success of being the real you and blessing this world with all the accomplishments and the impact that you are capable of making by being your real you and putting your talents to use?
And trust me I am speaking this from experience. During my teenage years and actually, until a couple of years ago, I always thought of myself in a negative way – uncool, ugly, boring, the list goes on. I always thought that for me to be interesting or attractive, I had to change myself and be like someone else, be more extroverted for example, imitate the way other people speak, always say yes to other people for them to accept me in their circle, hide my own opinions so that I don’t seem controversial, etc. But unsurprisingly, I came to realize that the more I tried to change myself and act in all of those unhealthy ways listed above and the more I tried to fit in, the unhappier, less confident, and lonely I got because I was never completely myself in nearly all my friendship circles. Everywhere I was, I wanted to be who I thought other people wanted me to be and not who I truly am. And all I ended up becoming is a depressed doormat that everyone could walk on however they wanted as long as they “liked” me.
And that’s how I learned this lesson the hard way that however much you try, you will never ever be genuinely happy unless you be yourself and express yourself in your own authentic way. Because when you start doing it, magic happens. That’s when you find the peace of mind and heart and happiness that you were always seeking all along. You start attracting the people who genuinely love you for you and those are the people who deserve to be in your life, because at the end of the day, why would you want to be with someone who loves the fake side of you and not the real one? When you embark on this journey of being you, you even stop wasting your time on things that don’t match with your values and principles as well as long-term goals and instead invest time and energy into those things that do align with them. And this is where personal development also comes in. Because truth be told, however much you think you know yourself, there is always a better and more achieving side of yourself that you don’t know. Which is why, when you work on being who you truly are, it paves the way for you to work on your own weaknesses and flaws and turn them into strengths and qualities that makes you a better person than you were in the past.
In fact, to say that this journey is fulfilling is an understatement; but of course, that means that it’s not easy either. It takes a lot of work, dedication, commitment, and patience to work through the ups and downs that one goes through in the process of self-healing and learning, and unlearning who you are and who you are not. But that is what makes it so worthy because you are always assured that regardless of what you pass through and how hard it is, the outcome is worth it because it will mean that a better, stronger, more authentic, and genuinely happier version of yourself will come out of it.