“What If?” What if is one of the questions many people including myself ask themselves on a regular basis. What if I had worked harder? What if I had been nicer? What if I had made a different choice back then? What if I had said yes to that relationship? What if I had applied for that job? Maybe things would have been different now or maybe they wouldn’t. What if questions are endless and everyone has them every once in a while regardless of their social status, gender, orientation, race, or background.
Personally, the What if questions have haunted me for a long time since I can remember. But the truth is, every time I finish exhausting the What If questions for the day, I always wonder, what is the whole point of wasting time thinking over past things I can never change in my life? What is the whole point of wasting time wishing things had been different when I know for sure that there is no way I can go back and make my past any tiny bit better? Because at the end of the day, truth be told, what these endless What if questions result into are more future regrets about the time one wasted thinking about the past that is done, gone, and unchangeable.
And this is why I hate regrets. They twist you up and down, left and right. They make you bitter, angry, sad, hurt, to mention a few. They bring nothing but more regrets with wasted time, hinder your motivation to productively work on your future, and blind you from being grateful for the beautiful and good things you have in your life at the moment. All because of the nagging judgy voice in your head that keeps reminding you of your mistakes and all the ways you messed up in your life.
That is why after processing all the ways in which regrets turn my life upside down and end up creating an endless loop of more future regrets that will never end and change, I have come to push myself to avoid them as much as I can. Of course, I still have them; I still sit down and think of the ways I could have worked harder in a certain class; the way I could have loved more that important person when I still had time with them; the list goes on. But as opposed to before when I entertained these regrets and let them bring feelings of sadness, anger, bitterness, and frustration to my life, nowadays, when I regret, I try to isolate myself from the whole situation and analyze it objectively by asking myself the question, What can I learn from this situation to prevent this mistake from happening ever again in the future? What is the most important takeaway or lesson for me to take with me as I move forward in my journey to be a better person?
When I get the key lesson of what I can do to make things better for me in the future, I close that Regrets file and do all I can to stop myself from beating myself over it. Because at the end of the day that is what matters about our experiences. What was good about them? Where did we go wrong and how can we correct it in time to come? After all of that is obtained, I honestly see no point in taking time to revisit the regrets and mistakes that one has collected along the way in life.
Because honestly speaking, it is a waste of time and I am a big fan and believer of the saying that “life is too short to spend it beating yourself up for what you could’ve done better in the past.” (Did I just make that up? Maybe or maybe not). I think if one is still alive, that is what one should focus on, because as they say, “every day is another chance to try again, this time better and more wisely.” If there is something to do about a situation you are in, do it and change your life for the better. But if there is nothing to change about a situation whether past or present, my friend, let it go; as they say, “change your attitude about it,” or at least force yourself to stop wasting your precious time thinking about it.
Life is too short; like really short than some of us really imagine. We never know when we are going to leave this planet; it can be today; it can be tomorrow, ten years down the road, or fifty years to come. Whenever it is, that time will come when we will take our last breath, and we approach that day with each passing second of our time. So, then why waste the ever-decreasing time we have hereby beating ourselves up over things we did in our past? It is definitely not worth it. That said, let’s leverage every single second we have alive by doing what we love the most; what brings happiness, fulfillment, and peace of mind and heart to our lives. Let’s use our remaining time here on Earth by going after our passions and realizing our dreams. Let’s spend this time doing things that impact other people’s lives as well as ours, and thus make this world a better place than we found it.
Of course, it won’t be easy, but what matters is that it’s possible and worth every single effort and sweat that one invests in it. Because at the end of the day, there is more to life than the mistakes that one has made in the past.
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