Category Archives: 18 F Jewish/Yiddish Proverbs

Understanding and Listening

 

Title: Understanding and Learning

General Information about Item 

  • Verbal Lore, proverb
  • Language: English
  • Informant: Rabbi Meir Cohen Goldstein
  • Date Collected: 5 October 2018

Informant Data

  • Rabbi Meir Cohen Goldstein was born in Phoenix, Arixona and received his master’s of rabbinic studies and rabbinic ordination from the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies at the American Jewish University. Goldstein worked for three years at Elon University as the associate chaplain for Jewish Life after serving as rabbi for the Commack Jewish Center in Commack, New York. He began his position of tenured Dartmouth Hillel Rabbi in July 2018.

Contextual Data

  • Social Context: Rabbi Goldstein uses this proverb either when giving advice to couples or when discussing ways to overcome what he called, “seemingly unbridgeable chasms.” He has used it in formal settings when teaching at Dartmouth, but also recited it in a personal setting. The piece can be applied to any situation where two people have different opinions and must be reminded to consider each other’s point of view.
  • Cultural Context: Goldstein says that to him it is a reminder that, when we are on a different level as people who are most committed and involved in our lives, it is our obligation to go out of our way to do whatever is necessary to hear them from the place where they speak. The piece therefore asks, “How do you hear someone who is speaking their own truth from a place that is different from your place?” He therefore thinks that although the piece is Jewish in origin, it is widely applicable to many current situations in the world where people should listen to each other.

Item

The piece was recited orally by Rabbi Goldstein and he also kindly provided a written transcript.

“If you’re wife is short, bend down to listen to her.”

Collector’s Comments

  • I was intrigued by this proverb  as all other Jewish proverbs collected were either clearly Biblical ( more strict, more literal, a clear commandment) or Yiddish (often excessively humorous or outrageous), and this proverb does not clearly fit either category. Rabbi Goldstein’s use of the proverb in English suggests it is used with a more reform and American style of Judaism, in which participants do not necessarily know Yiddish or Hebrew.
  • In the same way that the proverb does not clearly fit into the “Biblical” or “Yiddish” categories of Jewish proverbs, it also does not fit into any of Dundes’ structures. However, the proverb does use humorous or at least cute imagery to convey advice that Goldstein suggests is commonly used in particularly tense situations: when any two groups are arguing due to a fundamental misunderstanding or difference of views. Therefore, this proverb is an excellent example of the function of proverbs to dispel tension and provide advice.

Collector’s Name: Hannah Margolis 

 

Hannah Margolis, 20

Hinman Box 2464

Dartmouth College

Hanover, NH 03755

Russian 13

Fall 2018

Tags/Keywords 

  • Verbal Lore
  • Proverbs
  • Jewish Proverb
  • Relationships
  • Listening

Relationship Expectations in Judaism

Title: Relationship Expectations in Judaism

General Information about Item: 

  • Verbal Lore, proverb
  • Language: Hebrew
  • Informant: Rabbi Meir Cohen Goldstein
  • Date Collected: 5 October 2018

Informant Data

  • Rabbi Meir Cohen Goldstein was born in Phoenix, Arixona and received his master’s of rabbinic studies and rabbinic ordination from the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies at the American Jewish University. Goldstein worked for three years at Elon University as the associate chaplain for Jewish Life after serving as rabbi for the Commack Jewish Center in Commack, New York. He began his position of tenured Dartmouth Hillel Rabbi in July 2018.

Contextual Data

  • Social Context: At weddings or in situations of tense relationships (marriage counseling or casual conversation), Rabbi Goldstein has used or heard the expression used to remind the couple involved of their commitment to one another. Rabbi Goldstein says that the expression is invoked to provide advice to couples as a reminder to act out of love and build the relationship in mature ways. He also said the proverb may be used to remind close friends of their commitment to each other as well. The proverb is therefore often invoked in a more private setting when used as advice in a hurting relationship or publicly as a type of vow during a wedding.
  • Cultural Context: The piece is biblical in origin and was a teaching of Rabbi Akiva who lived during the beginning of the second century. Goldstein said her personally interprets the teaching to reference that when two people commit to each other and they act in fidelity to that commitment with love and justice and support to grow, then god is with them in that relationship. If they choose not to, they are consumed by fires of jealousy, disappointment, and anger. In either case, the proverb is supposed to invoke the question, “What does Judaism want from us in our relationships?”
  • Goldstein also showed me that when the Hebrew letters ‘ (yod) and ה (hei) are combined from the word for man (א’ש) and woman (אשה), they form ה’, which is Hebrew for “God.” When the letters yod and hei are removed from the words for man and woman, the remaining letters, אש, are Hebrew for fire. Therefore, the proverb literally shows that without God, man and woman together is fire.

Item         

The piece was written down by Rabbi Goldstein for my reference. The translation (word for word and general) was provided orally by Goldstein.

א’ש ואשה זכו שכ’נה ב’נ’הן לא זכו אש

Translation – word for word

“Man and woman if they merit god is with; if they do not merit, fire.”

Translation- general

“When a man and a woman act towards each other with righteousness and merit, then god also dwells in their relationship. When they don’t, fire consumes them.”

Collector’s Comments

  • I was particularly interested in this piece for several reasons. 1) It serves as an example of a more serious and biblical proverb that therefore lacks any of the structures suggested by Dundes for proverbs, 2) despite its biblical origin it has been adopted for frequent use as oral folklore in which the original source no longer matters, and 3) it has an element to it that can be expressed only through writing (that is, seeing how the letters of the words recombine to form ה’ versus אש). Therefore, while this proverb is clearly used in ways that are in line with its characteristic of a proverb: it is spoken, provides advice, and encourages the teaching of one’s culture, it also can be used in written form, which is not proverbial.
  • Additionally of interest is the fact that this proverb is rather literal and not as metaphorical as other proverbs collected. However, the fact that the proverb uses a situation of a man and a woman in a relationship, yet Rabbi Goldstein’s insistence that the proverb can relate to any two people provides a bit of a metaphorical edge.

Collector’s Name: Hannah Margolis

Hannah Margolis, 20

Hinman Box 2464

Dartmouth College

Hanover, NH 03755

Russian 13

Fall 2018

Tags/Keywords 

  • Verbal Lore
  • Proverbs
  • Hebrew Proverb
  • Relationships

50 Plagues

Title: 50 Plagues

General Information about Item:

  • Verbal Lore, proverb
  • Language: Hebrew
  • Informant: Moshe Gray
  • Date Collected: 10-24-18

Informant Data:

  • Rabbi Gray was born in New York City and grew up in Seattle. He obtained his rabbinical ordination from the Chief Rabbi of Nachalat Har Chabad. He has studied at yeshivas in England, Israel, Canada and America. He is currently the Rabbi at Chabad at Dartmouth College.

Contextual Data:

  • Cultural Context: The proverb is from a section of the Talmud, a religious text about civil and ceremonial law, which discusses primarily building codes. Towards the end, the Talmud goes into tangents, and in one of these tangents, the verse includes the proverb. The verse the Talmud uses to back up this proverb is a verse from Job, where his friends come to him and say that it is better what you are dealing with, and the challenges and the struggles, than to be poor. This emphasizes poverty in the home as the source of many challenges. The term 50 plagues is used because Job says that the hand of God has touched him, and the 10 plagues of Egypt is considered the finger of God. So, if the finger of God is 10 plagues, the hand of God is 50 plagues.
  • Social Context: Rabbi Gray learned this proverb from his religious studies. He finds the proverb to still be applicable in today’s society, as many divorces originate from financial struggles. Financial struggles put a tremendous strain on relationships and families.

Item:

Orally transmitted proverb:

קשה עניות בתוך ביתו של אדם יותר מחמשים מכות

Translation:

“Poverty in one’s home is worse than 50 plagues.”

Associated file (a video, audio, or image file):

 

Informant’s Comments:

  • Rabbi Gray was unsure when this proverb would actually be used in common conversation.

Collector’s Comments:

  • I found this proverb especially representative of the notion that proverbs can remove blame by treating an idea as common wisdom. Speaking to someone about finances can be uncomfortable and by using a proverb, it removes a lot of this discomfort.

Collector’s Name: Madison Minsk

Tags/Keywords:

  • Verbal Lore
  • Hebrew Proverb
  • Relationships