Title: Life Rules

General Information:

• Verbal lore, Proverb
• Informant: Meg Costantini
• Location: Meg’s office, Aquinas House, Hanover, NH 03755
• Date: October 18, 2018

Informant Data:

Meg Costantini is a campus minister at Dartmouth College’s Catholic student center, Aquinas House. She describes herself as a “cradle Catholic,” meaning that she was born and raised Catholic her whole life. She went to public school for grade and high school, Villanova for her undergraduate degree, and got her Masters of Divinity from Notre Dame in 2015. After that, she started her current job. She is married to her husband Shawn, has a one-year-old daughter Lucy, and a baby on the way. (And her dog, Rey, who you’ll hear barking in the audio recording.)

Contextual Data:

Social Data:

Meg heard this proverb while she was studying for her Masters of Divinity at Notre Dame. The director of her program used this as a set of “rules” for them to follow, and wisdom to guide them through their time there. The program was not composed entirely of Catholics, but was taught in a Catholic college and moral setting. This advice was given to the program participants to help them better understand how to relate to one another and build friendships during their time there, but also in a broader context to help them go out into the world with a Catholic mindset in their relationships.

Cultural Data:

This proverb has three parts. First, be your own best advocate means to know yourself before you enter a relationship, and advocate for what you need, because you can’t expect others to read your mind. Go gently means to treat yourself and others gently and with kindness, whether a friend, a partner, or a stranger. Meg said that we often need to love ourselves more than we do—and if you can’t be gentle with yourself, you can’t expect others to do the same. Finally, assume goodwill means to assume that others around you are acting with goodwill, and to think the best of them unless proven otherwise. Don’t assume that others are out to harm you. Though not explicitly using metaphors of Catholicism, these principles encompass a lot of Church teachings on how to treat others and yourself. Meg said she still recalls these principles and tries to keep them close at hand in her daily life, in order to remind herself to treat everyone with dignity.

Item:

Orally transmitted proverb:

“First, be your own best advocate, second, go gently, third, assume goodwill.”

Interview Recording:

Volume Warning: Meg’s busy life includes a young baby who liked to stand near the computer and a dog who likes to bark–they are audible and loud on the recording! Listen with care as to your volume.

Collector’s Notes:

The formula of this proverb is a three part piece of advice. The image is upbeat but serious. The message conveys how to properly treat others as well as yourself–an overlooked part of relationships. This is one of only two proverbs that doesn’t have explicitly Catholic metaphors, but it still conveys the heart of Catholic teachings.

Collector:

Alexandra Norris, 20
3305 Hinman, Hanover, NH, 03755
Dartmouth College
Russian 13
Fall 2018

Tags:

• Proverbs
• Catholic Proverbs
• Friends
• Relationships