Scene 1 – The Witches (Act 1 Scene 3)

(Dimly-lit den of debauchery where 3 witch bros in shorts and polos are sitting around a card table. Witch 3 will probably double as lawrence. It would be ideal if they were vaping. They should have poker chips and cards.)  

Witch 1

Double, Double

Witch 2

Toil and Trouble

Witch 1

Fire Burn

Witch 3

And Cauldron Bubble

All three witches cheer, drinking to it

Witch 1

Dude, you wouldn’t believe this rump-fed runion I found on Tinder the other day.

Witch 2

Didja swipe right with those pilot’s thumbs. (slapping each other on the back)

Witch 1

Like a rat, without a tail.

 

A timid knock is heard at the door. 

Witch 3

Open locks, whoever knocks.

 

Maybeth and Brin enter warily, possibly coughing on smoke. Both are dressed for the office and Brin is visibly pregnant.

Maybeth

It’s a foul day indeed when we must descend into this filth.

Brin

Why did SpotFit even hire them? Are they humans? They have the appearance of men and yet they could very well be Sperry-shod robots.

 

Witch bros blatantly ignore Brin and focus their attention toward Maybeth. They speak their lines in rapid and rhythmic succession with a sort of slur. They “Heys” should sound like “Hail.”

Witch 1

Hey Maybeth. Head of Product.

Witch 2

Hey Maybeth. Head of Operations.

Witch 3

Hey Maybeth. Who shall be CEO hereafter.

Brin (trying to play it cool)

Lot of kind words for my noble partner here. Have you guys heard any chatter about me? 

 

Brin sits down on the back of a chair and the witch bros begin to cluster their bodies around her. They interject so the lines sound like one sentence.

 Witch 1, 2, 3 (in succession)

Hey, hey, hey

Witch 1

Lesser than Maybeth and greater,

Witch 2 

Be happy and take your maternity leave

Witch 3

You’ll definitely outlast her at SpotFit.

 

The witch bros do another shot and then begin heading towards the door. Maybeth chases after them but she doesn’t catch them.

Maybeth 

Stay, you imperfect speakers. I know of the first promotion, but what of this further belief? Sheila is Chief Operating Officer, alive and well. Say from whence you owe this strange intelligence. 

Brin

Hey, don’t sweat it. There are more bubbles in their head than in their drinks. What insane things do they speak about!

 Maybeth

You’re probably right. Wise and judicious, no wonder you’re going to outlast me at the company.

Brin

But you shall receive the promotion – and by those selfsame words, the company. 

 

Brin raises eyebrows in faux/real jealousy, sarcastic hand movements define their jesting speech. Shortly after, her phone rings and she takes the call

Brin (on the phone)

Who’s there? 

She pauses with a startled look and then muffles the phone on her shoulder to speak to Maybeth. (Maybe it’s onscreen– like a news report)

Brin

Maybeth. Sheila’s out. 

 

(Fade to black.)