3 thoughts on “Peer Review”
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Joselina Hijar
A swimmer, an athlete, a student and an aspiring therapist: An Oral history by Paola Cazares for Anthro33/LATS 44: Latino Roots and Transitions, Spring 2013
Paola,
You’ve done a great job so far, I love the header image, way to combine all of Joselina’s main interests!
As far as the intro is concerned, you’ve provided a solid overview of Joselina’s journey without giving away too much. One thing I want to point out is your sentence in the second paragraph, “Joselina thought that she would learns English rapidly.” Other than that it’s good!
The Growing Up in Latin America section is organized well, I like the fact that you don’t mention that she’s from El Salvador until the section on her journey. As a reader, I kept wondering where she was from, this adds to the suspense of her migration story. One thing to point out, in the second paragraph, the texts says, “Joselina’s mother worked a stay-at-home mom.” Also, under the Education section, “He father bought her a house in her home country.”
Joselina’s story is remarkable, you successfully built it up and organized its telling well!
Hi Paola,
Firstly, I just want to say that I love the aesthetics on your website–especially the background. I am wondering if there is any special meaning to the images? If there is, I would recommend putting that in the Appendix, as that would make it really unique. I also really like your division of the oral history and the way you narrated it…it made it sound like you were telling a story, which was very engaging to me as a reader. There were some parts while reading that we highlighted; some of those highlighted parts felt arbitrary to me so I was unclear why they were emphasized. I might also recommend splitting up some of the longer sections into subsections, as it seemed somewhat long scrolling through the sections. Otherwise, the site is very nicely done and the oral history is well-written. Awesome job!!! 🙂 Let me know if you would like some additional feedback when you are finishing up the project.
Mon Yuck
Paola, I think you’ve done a terrific job! I know it was a challenge to work on an oral history in which you could not identify the country nor many other details but your narrative is sensitive and true to the interviewee’s story. In terms of aesthetics, I would change the text from red/green to black. I find the red assaulting! Also, put a tab to bring us back to the main DLOHP page (see others, for example Natalie’s)