Hookup-Culture: The Good, the Bad, the Ugly
“Being an old school romantic in a hookup culture is a special kind of hell.” This quote, which has been shared millions of times on various social media platforms, is one many can relate to—namely, those who seek a relationship and attend university in the United States (Abbey et al). Donna Freitas, author of The End of Sex describes “Hookup Culture” as “a term commonly used in contemporary American society to refer to sexual activity between two people who are not in a committed romantic relationship” (Freitas). Data show that although many college students are engaging in hookups, there is no real consensus on how to define a hookup. Specific to hookups, strategic ambiguity comes into play when individuals use the term “hookup” to “describe their sexual activities rather than give details as an impression management strategy to protect their sexual and social identities” (Currier).
The idea of “hookup culture” entails one simple guiding commandment when participating: “Thou shall not become attached to thy partner” (Peters). This leaves those who seek a real connection with an intimate partner left out in the cold and often times labeled as prudishor hopelessly romantic. Although to many, the idea of “hooking up” is neither appealing nor satisfying, a large proportion of college students throughout the country still participate. In 2018, it was reported that nearly 80% of North American college students engaged in some form of “hookup” or casual sexual experience with no commitment. However, it was also reported that after polling undergraduate students in various colleges in North America, “78 percent of women and 72 percent of men who had uncommitted sex (including vaginal, anal, and/or oral sex) reported a history of experiencing regret following such an encounter” (Przybylski et al.). So, this raises the questions: Why is hookup culture so prevalent, given the potential distaste or subsequent regret that often follows this noncommittal sexual act? And, Are there any serious consequences to participating in hookup culture?
One factor that plays a role in the prevalence of hookup culture is the psyche of the students currently attending college in the United States. This age group is often referred to as “Generation Z,” or more recently, the “Generation of Instant Gratification.” This, along with the “Net-Gen,” “I-generation,” and “digital natives,” refers to current youth in American society, who were born anywhere from the mid-1990s to the late 2010s (Turner). This generation is particularly different from previous generations in that many of them have no concept of life prior to the internet. Generation Z knows nothing of a time when technology and the internet were not instantly accessible. This generation is accustomed to instant connection and interaction not with the world, not with their surroundings, but rather with surrounding technology. In this technological universe, cybersocial platforms create a false sense of connectivity to other users (Andreassen et al.). In fact, when people open up their computers, it is doors they often shut. This means more time staring at the screens of their iPhones, and less real interaction with one another.
Because members of this generation have always had access to the virtual world at their fingertips, they tend to expect instantaneous fulfillment and are less inclined to behave with long-term goals in mind (Presley et al.). To understand the appeal of hookup culture, we must also understand how the Generation of Instant Gratification is wrapped up in a climate of parties, social media, and social acceptance with which hookup culture is intertwined. Although historically these issues have been dissected and analyzed independent of one another, in this instance, they are interconnected and work synergistically to heighten the negative consequences when working jointly. The craving for instant gratification, that, at least in part, fuels hookup culture, is directly tied to the constant search for validation and “clout,” or social influence, through various social arenas.
The habit of instant gratification follows kids from childhood into life at college. Hookup culture satisfies the here and now formula that Generation Z is accustomed to, while also fulfilling the short-term need for affection and connection. Unfortunately, this may be detrimental to relationships in the long run. This generation participates in numerous activities that supply instant gratification—the most common being social media. Social media plays a large role in influencing users to participate in both hookup and party culture, as many individuals seek their own validation through these seemingly connective social platforms.
Over the last few years, various types of social media have grown increasingly popular throughout the world (Garcia et al.). In fact, many studies have reported that a large number of college students do not use just a single communicative platform, but rather a wide variety (Quan-Haase and Young). This engagement has vastly changed the way this generation defines “friends.” In fact, many of these daily interactions are with individuals the user has never personally met. While some users of these platforms report that it “gives them instant gratification,” many also report its negative effects on their perception of reality as a whole (Andreassen et al.).
Because social media has made it easier than ever to know about both the online and offline activities of their “friends,” users have developed a growing interest in the idea of “FoMO” or “the fear of missing out” (Belangee et al.). FoMO can be defined “a pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent, FoMO is characterized by the desire to stay continually connected with what others are doing” (Belangee et al.). This idea also promotes a direct comparison of one’s own current social situation to others’ “highlight reel” often showcased on various social networking platforms. Many users report that the engagement of individuals’ online profiles often dictates the way they perceive not only that person, but also themselves. Students who participate in this form of friend networking consequently determine their own “likability” based on the number of followers they have, or in some cases, judge themselves or others on how many “likes” a particular photo gets. Studies have shown that this social hierarchy can vastly shift one’s perception of themselves and others, often in a negative way (Andreassen et al.).
On the flip side, as other studies have shown, it is the small amount of social acceptance or narcissistic gratification that keeps many users coming back, with hopes of more praise or interaction than ever before (Leung). In fact, some parallel this high of flooding likes and comments to that of drug use.
Although the come down from these drugs can be a long, hard, and sometimes even a depressing road, many users come back to seek an even more intense high despite its large detriments to their health.
While social media not only serves as an outlet for instant gratification, it also exposes students to false sexual scripts which can permanently alter their perception of hookup culture in their own lives. Movies like “Animal House” and “Neighbors” have long emphasized the importance of “hookups” in order to achieve a widely sought-after collegiate lifestyle—one in which the central focus is anything but academic (Ven). Consequently, many college freshmen are just as anxious to participate in their first hookup, as they are to drink their first sip of alcohol. This shift in focus could be a result of the hookup-endorsing media to which they are exposed. Studies reveal that “…college freshmen who had high levels of exposure to sexual media content were more likely to accept the norms and expectations of the hookup culture, overestimate their peers’ sexual activity, participate in hookup experiences, and engage in more sexual risk-taking” (Downing-Matibag and Geisinger). Students’ digestion of media that endorses hookup culture can significantly alter their decision to participate, as well as their overall perception of how healthy intimate relationships with significant others should look. In Holman and Sillars’ “Talk About ‘Hooking Up,’” the authors consider the possibility that social media serves as a platform to encourage students to engage in high-risk sexual relationships. They state that:
[College] students…described sexual scripts for hooking up and reported on peer communication, sexual behavior, and sexual attitudes. Students described varied hookup scripts, expressed ambivalent attitudes, and reported moderate participation in hookups overall. However, the most common hookup script, suggesting a high-risk sexual activity (i.e., unplanned, inebriated sex), was featured in most accounts of students who themselves participated in hookups. Students overestimated how often others were hooking up, and these estimates were especially inflated by students who frequently talked about hooking up with friends. Among students with strong ties to peers, frequent peer communication about sex predicted participation in hookups and favorable attitudes about hooking up. Peer approval also predicted hookup behavior and attitudes (Holman and Sillars).
Given these results, it cannot be ignored that the media students consume, particularly social media, does play a role in their decision to engage in hooking up. It should also be noted that this social competition further fuels not only the drive to participate, but also the overestimation of participation by their peers.
These media platforms are more than merely fictional stories, they are creating falsehoods which pressure students to engage in activities with which they may feel uncomfortable. However, these are not the only factors to blame for the encouragement of casual sexual relationships.
It is also plausible that to tackle hookup culture, we must also address another relevant issue at hand—drinking. Partying is fun, right? It is no secret that alcohol use has been considered a large part of the American “college experience” since the 18th century (Abbey et al.). Fictional stories create preconceived notions of what a “real” college experience should entail, often focused on drunken debauchery rather than academic success. In critiquing college drinking culture, Cheryl Presley draws on more historic examples and theorizes that the subculture originated when “the sons of the rich came to college for four years of pleasure and social contacts. They considered academic work an intrusion on their fun, and they were content to pass their courses with a ‘gentleman’s C’ grade” (Presley et al.). The collegiate subculture remained anti-educational, with student social activities—particularly the campus party scene—taking precedence over academic endeavors. Years later, this scenario sounds all too familiar—but missing one aspect: casual sexual relationships. This could be a result of the rules and regulations set in place at the time to restrict women from partaking in this type of behavior, or, in some cases exclusion from attending places of higher education altogether (Peters). In 1855, The University of Iowa began to admit women. Shortly after, it was observed that “it did not take long for women to take part in the alcohol consumption that was already so fully embedded in college culture,” making it evident that this behavior was encouraged and possibly even celebrated widely throughout college campuses, even in a time period where social norms were much more conservative (Holman and Sillars). Alcohol consumption by coeds on college campuses has not lost its momentum since its inception. Of college students in the United States polled in 2017, roughly 81% regularly drank alcohol, and almost half of students reported binge-drinking within the past week (Ven). In 2016, researchers at The University of Houston surveyed a group of individuals on campus, this time to understand students’ rationale when consciously deciding whether or not to drink (Peters). Their studies indicated that these college students often “identify the more particular short-term conditions, situations, and contexts that interact with background factors to bring about specific behaviors.” In other words, this group struggled to make decisions based on their long-term implications. They also focus on how their decision to drink will give them instant gratification, which often ultimately leads them to make other poor decisions. This appeal, as described by a soon-graduating 22- year-old university student is:
…chaotic drinking episodes can be characterized as dramatic drunkenness, human wreckage, and primitive behavior…and can be met with equal disgust and delight…Yes, things get out of hand, but in an entertaining sort of way… (Ven).
The student further clarifies the versatility or rather balance of the concept so seemingly popular on college campuses:
Something always gets broken. Somebody dropped a glass, you know, somebody knocked over a cup, somebody broke our thermostat. As the night goes on people tend to get rowdier and guys want to get in fights. Girls start yelling at their boyfriends. You know, that kind of stuff, as the night goes on…the funny people get funnier, either because they’re drunk or everyone else is…It’s a good time, you know? (Ven)
Through this lens, it seems as though collective drunkenness can be a mix of brutality, drama, and good times. Although this statement isn’t entirely indicative of every college party scene, it paints an accurate picture of what many expect to experience during their time at a post-secondary school. This expectation encapsulates the “euphoria and frustration, laughter and the vandalism, and the emergent affection and mounting violence of group intoxication” that college party culture has to offer (Ven). However, individual students may not necessarily be the ones to blame for simply following the cultural norm. This style of binge-drinking and poor decision-making is continuously reinforced within the media which students have long digested. Despite its widespread social acceptance, drinking poses a great number of risks reasoned decision-making, not least when considering its heightening effects on hookup culture (Abbey et al.). This is particularly worrisome given the results of a recent study by Joseph LaBrie, a professor of Psychology at Loyola University. His findings were that:
Among participants who consumed alcohol prior to their last hookup, a notable 30.7% of females and 27.9% of males indicated that they would likely not have hooked up with their partners had alcohol not been involved. Further, 34.4% of females and 27.9% of males indicated that they would not have gone as far physically if they had not been drinking. Among participants who reported both drinking beforehand and hooking up with unfamiliar partners, a greater number of drinks consumed was associated with more advanced sexual behaviors. The current findings highlight the potential risks associated with alcohol use in the hooking up culture (LaBrie).
Sexual assault/rape, underage drinking, alcoholism, alcohol poisoning, and destruction of personal property are all potential consequences of hookup culture. Its prevalence seems to be attributable to this generations’ increased desire for partying. As discussed, the synergistic relationship of social media and the desire to be socially accepted by others spurs engagement in all activities which may potentially lead to such results. The current generation must decide whether or not this seeking of instant gratification will ultimately bring with it the overall satisfaction with life. The instant feeling of mental elation from drinking or the physical satisfaction of engagement in a sexual act may not ultimately result in a pleasing life for many of the participants.
To understand the implications of hookup culture, we must also consider our own roles in combatting this largely negative experience many of the 16 million college students in the United States currently face. Although some efforts can be made to help offset the negative repercussions of hookup culture, there is no single party to blame, as there is no ‘one-size-fits-all’ solution. Students that partake as well as abstain must be forward and honest with their peers to create and facilitate the meaningful relationships many of them desire. Additionally, administrations on college campuses will continue to have to be involved in the dialogue regarding the safety and security of its students from sexual assault, depression, and the ill effects of alcohol. Ultimately, the administration will also be responsible for the consequences of hookup culture in the eyes of the public. However, no single shift in administrative leadership will finitely put an end to this phenomenon. Because this problem is embedded in a culture rather than single event, it will take much more than a few campus-wide initiatives to truly change years of societal standards. Hookup culture is deeply rooted in issues colleges have long-time struggled to combat—many of which affect students post-graduation. Drinking, partying, and social pressures all play a large role in encouraging this experience on college campuses, but the driving force seems to be a larger societal culture, that cannot expect to be changed in a short period of time.
Ultimately, it is the students who will responsible for shifting societal standards to promote more fulfilling relationships. The synergistic effects of partying, social media and social acceptance appear to be eroding coveted long-term significant relationships between two people. This generation will have to decide whether or not the effects on their society and the consequences which arise are acceptable. This generation may find that hooking up causes some serious breaking up of long-lasting monogamous relationships.
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Acknowledgements
Wendel Cox, Research Librarian
Professor Monroe, editing and reviewing
Mothibi Penn-Kekana, editing and reviewing
Daniel Affsprung, editing and reviewing
John McCambridge, editing and reviewing
Jai Smith, editing and reviewing