5/26/22

The healing power of connectiveness

Existing outside of the systems that exist

Moving away from capitalism, cololisim, heteronormativity

And moving towards a life where we can just exist

Giving and receiving love with those around us

Emodying queerness

Being other in a way that upholds communities

Being a part of everything, something that holds people together

What I am trying to communicate in my art

I get so lost in the clouds, thinking that they are my identity

But they are temporary just like this body

I am a speck of the universe

Which chose to embody this form
to feel these feelings

To experience everything this dimension has to offer

I am learning and growing

And healing

Loving 

Those clouds are just my thoughts

Sometimes they get big and scary and cloud out all of the light

But as long as I remember they are just clouds I will be ok

I am all of it

I am a part of it all

I am a small little drop in the ocean

And I am the whole ocean

I am a tree in the forest

I cannot survive alone

I am interconnected to the whole ecosystem

I need the soil, the trees, the fungi

Nothing can exist alone

I keep getting lost in the clouds

Thinking they are everything

Feeling alone and scared

My mind is clouded by pain

By a toxic perspective

I lose myself

Thinking that I am alone

Thinking that I am an individual who cannot depend on others

Focusing on one person

Reaching out to one person

I fixate on them and I think that they are everything

I give them all of my emotions and I beg them to help me hold it

Because they have gotten so heavy 

It became an emotional burden I could no longer carry

So I try to give it all to one other person

And yet at the same time I am scared if I do I will lose them

I forget that no one person can hold this

If I cant hold it myself how I can expect others to bear it

There is no permeant person who will be by my side to bear the pain for me

I have to bear it all myself

But 

No

I have to live with it

But I have a community of people who love me dearly

Who are they for me and want to help me

But they can only give and receive so much

I think I am the storm clouds gathering overhead

But I am the tree in the forest

Interconnected with the whole ecosystem all around me

And I cant take things too seriously

Because it is all play

But you cant play when you are lost in the forest

You have to put in the work and take care of yourself

Because others can do it for you

Were all in this together but we all have to put in the work

Go hug a tree my love

Remember that you are connected to everything around you

Look up and see the storm clouds gathering

Know that it will pass

More storms will come

But we will ground ourselves in the soil

And hold each others hands

And we will bear it together

The world might be crumbling around us

But our lives will always come to an end

We were alwasy going to die

We might as well enjoy it while it lasts

For this form is ultimately temporary

And that is okay

It is all going to be okay

And as we watch the clouds go by

We start to see their beauty

We see them transform as the sunsets

Twisting and evolving

Lit up on a brilliant background