When it came to raising a family, each of my parent’s weakness was the other parent’s strength, which is why after 20 years, they are still happily married, and have modeled an ideal union for my brother and I. My parents drew on their upbringings to instill what did and did not work from their childhoods, and despite different backgrounds, their parenting goals were ultimately the same. In regards to juggling a career and child-rearing, my father humored that it would’ve been difficult if they relied on Suz to do the cooking or the cleaning, but luckily my mom married a man who loved the domestic jobs that she so deeply detested. They agreed that financially, both of them needed to work, and luckily, both of them enjoyed working. They both wanted to raise their children to be independent, and naturally, raised my brother and I in this way. Through this marriage of individualistic desires and the greater good of the family, my parents were consistently satisfied with their own self-fulfillment, and the success of their partnership.
Just as my parents drew on their own upbringings when raising my brother and I, I expect to do the same when raising my future children. I hope to find a spouse who compliments me as my parents compliment each other, and who shares my values on parenting philosophy and career balance. I greatly enjoyed knowing my own grandparents growing up, and intend to likewise take regular trips to visit my parents when I have a family of my own. Even some of the details of my upbringing, such as trips to Tucson, our love for dogs (our own dogs pictured below), and the friendly relationships that my parents developed with my friends (who all lovingly call my parents "Suz and D") are things that I reflect on warmly, and would like to replicate with my family. The one aspect of my parents' marriage that I'd like to avoid, however, is the age at which they got married. In many ways, getting married so late in life set the stage for the success of their marriage, but their age may limit how much time they have with my brother and I, and our future families. That being said, the age you are when you meet your spouse is beyond your control, whereas the dynamics of marriage that you can control are where my parents thrived. While there is no one right way to parent, completing this project has shown me that my parents' choices exemplify a very successful family dynamic, which I plan to reference when I start a family of my own.
