My mother is definitely the parent that more concerned with the responsibilities of childcare. I think this came to be partly because of Filipino culture, but also part because her work schedule has always been more flexible.
She plays more of the disciplinary role. She is also more of the “planning” parent, as she is more involved in helping with homework and school projects, setting up play dates, and signing up for summer camps, amongst so many other things. However, in her interview, my mother expressed her dismay for the fact that one cannot raise their child in a “Filipino” way in the United States, largely because the cultures clash so much. The traditional values of Filipino culture cannot withstand the liberal nature of American culture, despite my mother’s wishes.
My father, on the other hand, is just as involved as my mother, but in different ways. Now that his schedule has become far more flexible in the past few years, once he started working for himself, he can take on more parenting tasks for my sister than he maybe could’ve when I was younger. For example, he now takes my sister to school every morning, whereas with me, it was always my mother.
Because my father has seen that parents in the Philippines don’t widely play a role in the recreational time of their children, my father actively has worked to be the opposite for me and my sister. While as infants and toddlers my sister and I spent our weekdays with our mother at her work, weekends were reserved for family activities with our parents. Even when I was younger, my father would make sure that every weekend he would be involved in taking me places that, perhaps, did not require spending a large amount of money, such as car camping or night fishing. Now, my father reserves Saturdays for the family to spend time together, whether that be eating at a restaurant, watching a movie, or going to the park to ride bikes.
My mother is undoubtedly the parent that I go to for emotional support. I think this is because I spent a lot more time with her, but also more time with her with regards to “serious topics.” I am unsure about how this will play out with my still young sister, because I think she is “closer” to my father, happily fulfilling the “daddy’s girl” role as a daughter. However, for the emotional support that she’s needed in the past few years in the line of friends and school, my mother has stepped up to the plate.
Well, the thing with Filipino parents is like… I think they will do everything for their kids. I guess all parents are. I think all parents are. I think all parents will do everything for their kids. And always I think for every parent, it’s their kids first. Nothing they will not do for the kids. I think that’s what parenting are. I think that’s what, when you hear the word parent it’s like, you know, taking care of. (Claudina Carlos)