My Mother

My mother, ideally, wished to raise us the way she was raised.  She valued the respect that is so central to Filipino culture, and very much wanted that respect to be ingrained into the lifestyles of her children.

By the time my parents had children, she had already experienced two drastically different cultures.  She disliked the “liberal” nature of the Russians she encountered in the USSR.  Her exposure to these individuals further solidified her value of Filipino culture and the Filipino culture of respect.

My Father

My father’s ideal style of parenting is based on his personal experiences in the Philippines.  I think that he thinks that all the responsibilities that were required of him as a child, because of his position as oldest son and oldest grandson, so he actively tried to not impose those expectations on his own children.

He also saw that a lot of parents in the Philippines (or at least in rural areas like his own and my mother’s) don’t spend that much recreational time to spend with their children, because of the long work hours parents endure.  Because of this, he wished to be the opposite of that and spend as much time with his children as possible, in a way, giving us the childhood he never had. 

Well, anak, in the Philippines, raising kids is a lot different than over here. The way I raised you, anak… The way I raised you, I tried to give you time, attention, and tried to be with you all the time. Back home, it’s a lot different. Back home, most of the fathers don’t have time for their kids because, back home, parents work, work, work, work, work, work. They work all the time, and, most of the time, they don’t have time for the kids. (Froilan Carlos)