The Push for Migration: Chaos and Disillusionment

Adrián's family at the Pyramids of Teotihuacán.
Adrián’s family at the Pyramids of Teotihuacán.

I first met my wife when I was in high school. We knew each other and were friends, but it was nothing serious. Once I began my career at the National Autonomous University of Mexico we reconnected. We began to date casually, without ever planning for a future together or sharing our dreams – we were a rather easygoing couple. Soon enough, commitments began piling up and things got serious. Beautiful things happened with my wife, we got married; she became pregnant and gave me the satisfaction of becoming a father. However, at the time in which all of this happened, I felt very overwhelmed because I felt like I was not ready for all of these commitments. Not to mention, I was doing poorly in school and did not believe that I could handle all of these pressures while facing a new stage in life in which I was not only a husband, but a father as well. I made the big decision to discontinue with my career in order to begin working. I remember feeling like a failure; I was devastated.

Adrián and his 1 year old daughter.
Adrián and his 1 year old daughter.

I picked up a job as a taxicab driver. This job required me to work most of the day. I made about 600 pesos a week, which is about 60 dollars. When I got home, I would go out with the young adults that lived in the neighborhood. Unfortunately, they were so absorbed into street culture that promoted the usage of alcohol and drugs, that they were not very supportive. Rather than making the choice to get out of my situation, I became consumed by it. I began picking up a dependency on alcohol as a form of escape from my education, marital, and personal problems. I began to feel like a failure in many ways. I felt like I was letting my parents down since I was not going to become a professional, and I also felt like I was letting my new family down since I did not have a stable job in which I could provide as the breadwinner. These thoughts of disappointment lead to a very dark period in my life.

Weeks before Adrián's migration to the United States.
Weeks before Adrián’s migration to the United States.

My frustrations led to an all time high when my economic, personal, and marital problems all appeared to blend together and consume me. At that moment I realized I had failed my parents by not becoming a professional. I was also not satisfied with the situation that I had with my wife, how we were living, and how things were going at the time. I was frustrated and I was scared. To make matters worse, I had a growing alcohol addiction that was interfering with many aspects of my life. At that point, I only had two options: to let these cycles of vices and poverty take over my life, or to give one last push to overcome my situation. I surrendered to my fears and decided to give everything I had to try to make a better future for myself and for my family.

When I was first presented with the opportunity to migrate to the United States, I felt as if the golden gates had been opened. I knew many people who had migrated from Mexico the United States who came back to visit to Mexico and talked abuout how it was very easy to make money and earn a living up North. Of course, many of us who listened to these stories were very tempted to find out more about how to make this journey since we were struggling financially in our home country. I remember hearing many beautiful stories about how it was so nice, clean and easy in the United States. With each passing word, I began to grow fonder of having such a life.

One day, my younger brother’s wife’s cousins were visiting from the United States. They were telling my brother and I stories about their life up North. In passing, they mentioned how they would help us start our lives in the United States if we deemed it possible to migrate. This opportunity seemed destined for me, since I was experiencing a moment of severe inner turmoil. Similarly, my younger brother was also struggling to pay his bills and provide for his family. Together, we decided to do our best to apply for tourist visas so that we could join his wife’s family in the United States; we trusted that they could help us.

Adrián and his younger brother in 2007.
Adrián and his younger brother in 2007.

After a couple of months passed, we were both blessed enough to receive our tourist visas. At the time, it was difficult for many Mexicans to obtain these papers since there was an increase in migration. That same year we traveled North.

The moment that we got the United States, my life changed. I soon realized that it was not easy to adapt. I found myself in a completely different world with people who did not speak my language, who gave me their backs, and who put many obstacles in my path. I remember thinking that the world that I found myself in was completely different from the one that was introduced to me through beautiful stories. To make matters worse, my younger brother’s wife’s distant family did not fulfill their promise to help us during this transitory period. Once we showed up asking for help, they told us that they could not lend us a hand during that time. Before long, we began to grow disillusioned.

 NEXT SECTION – The Transitory Period: Work and Family