It is a daunting question and one we rarely ponder. When you ask someone “What does marriage mean to you?” the first, immediate answer will probably be silence. Because of its rarity, we originally decided to include this question among the general ones to ask all our interviewees. In the process of performing our interviews and organizing our project, we realized that this question is too important, too diverse, too complicated to be seen and presented only through our in-depth interviews. As such, we decided to take this question further than all the others and ask as many people as possible what did marriage mean to them. We interviewed our friends, our peers, our elders, our role models, our families, strangers–and here are their answers:

Paula Raquel Garcia

Cuban. Miami, FL. 66 years old. Widower.

[El matrimonio es] Una cosa muy bonita cuando es por ambas partes. Entonces, es tratar de entenderse, de llevarse bien, de cuidarse uno al otro, de hacer su familia, y adaptarse uno al otro. Tener unión, gustarle hasta el aliento de esa persona. Porque según pasa el tiempo empiezan a desenamorarse. Luchar entre ambos, quererse, compartir.“

“[Marriage is] something very beautiful when it is wanted from both sides. So, it’s a matter of understanding each other, getting along well, of taking care of one another, of building a family, of adapting to each other. It is to have a union, to like almost everything of the other persone. Because as time goes by the original love fades. It is to fight together, to love each other, to share.”

Gerardo Pisacane

Italian Resident Advisor. Hanover, NH. 30 years old. Single.

“Marriage for me is a matter of balance. If you are going to marry someone you can find a balance in someone who completes you. It’s a matter of being complete.”

Gricelda Ramos 

Dartmouth ’18. Miami, Fl. 20 years old. Single.

“Marriage, at least how we have perceived it to be, is a visible demonstration of commitment. I think it’s a beautiful promise that you’ll have a best friend forever!”

Alban Dodaj 

Albanian. Siena, Italy. 32 years old. In a relationship.

Adrian Abreu 

Senior in High School. Lehigh Acres, Fl. 18 years old. Single.

“2 people coming together to be with each other forever”

Ivan Torrens 

Sophomore in high school. Miami, Fl. 15 years old. Single.

“Marriage is a mutual promise between two people to share their lives with each other. The promise to share lives has everything to do from sickness to financial issues. Both people in the bond of marriage have to live not with another person, but more like with an extension of themselves, due to the extreme mixture of the lives of the participants of a marriage.”
Raquel Rivera
Nurse. Lehigh Acres, Fl. 45 years old.Married.
“Eso depende de cuantos años. Porque cambia según los años. Si es muchos años es un negocio y una costumbre. Y es de pocos años una felicidad. También es según el día, porque por ejemplo hoy yo tengo ganas de estar soltera. Todo es muy bonito y a medida aire van pasando los años va cambiando el concepto, pasa igual con todo.”
Ruxay Rivera
Nurse. Miami, Fl. Married.
“Matrimonio es idealmente para compartir toda una vida junta, aunque no en todos los casos pasa asi, en mi caso, creo que ha sido muy bueno aunque no perfecto, en el matrimonio se comparten todo, cosas materiales, sentimientos, ideas, es tener apoyo el uno del otro.”
“Marriage is ideally to share a whole life together, even if in many cases it doesn’t happen that way. In my case, I think it has been very good although not perfect. In marriage you share everything, material things, feelings, ideas, and you need to support each other.”
Tara Simmons
Dartmouth ’17. Goldsboro, NC. 22 years old. Single.
“Marriage to me means someone who’s your teammate for life and inspires you every day to be extraordinary.”
Mary Sieredzinski
Dartmouth ’17. Jacksonville, FL. 22 years old. Single.
“Marriage is spending the rest of your life with you best friend, the person you love whole heartedly. But it’s also making a commitment in front of God to stand by that persons side through sickness and struggles.”
Jamie Levien
Dartmouth ’17. Manorville, NY. 21 years old. Single.
“Marriage means building a life together with someone you care about and love through the bad and good.”
Megan Ong
Dartmouth ’17. Mooresville, NC. 21 years old. In a Relationship.
“I think marriage is how you start your new family – even if you don’t end up having kids. it’s how you become related to someone you’re not technically related to – that’s why i think marriages happen in churches (or temples, etc) because it’s God creating a family between you and the other person.”
Sarah Latulipe
Dartmouth ’17. Rochester, NY. 21 years old. Single.
“Marriage is loving your partner through all of the ups and downs in life and making sacrifices for that partner for the benefit of your marriage.”
Melissa Zubizarreta
Dartmouth ’17. Queens, NY. 21 years old. In a Relationship.
“Marriage is formalizing a relationship in the eyes of the government. But that relationship is a forever friendship, where you just make each other as happy as possible as long as possible.”
Meredith Godfrey. 
Dartmouth ’17. Alexandria, VA. 22 years old. In a Relationship.
i do not want to have you
to fill the empty parts of me
i want to be full on my own
i want to be so complete
i could light a whole city
and then
i want to have you
cause the two of us combined
could set it on fire
– rupi kaur
Kim Gruffi
Nurse. New City, NY. 54 years old. Married.
“Marriage is a sacred, legal, and binding union of two people to journey through adult life as partners in a personal relationship of companionship, fulfillment, and love; and for the purpose of producing offspring. Marriage is the foundation of family, and family is the fundamental unit of society.”
Liz Gruffi
Teacher. Danbury, CT. 31 years old. Newlywed.
“I would say marriage is definitely a compromise and something that both people have to put equally into. I think more people live together now before marriage which changes the situation and even when people get married it feels like nothing has changed. Most people(mainly newlyweds) live together before marriage just because especially in the area we are from rent and houses are so expensive that not just one person can afford the expenses. The idea of what is considered a traditional marriage has changed so much over time. Also I’ve had a lot of friends that have already gotten married and divorced and they felt like it was the right thing to do since they had been dating so long and felt since all their friends were getting married they should as well (societal pressure).  I feel like  it is definitely pressure from society too and what someone is “supposed” to do ….so many people ask me everyday when I’m having a baby and to get a move on it.”
Maddie Hess
Dartmouth ’19. CA. 20 years old. In a relationship.
“Marriage is a mutual (though not always consensual) commitment between two or more people to join their lives indefinitely. Different marriages can take different forms within this condition and center on different forms within this condition an center on different mutual agreements, like the choice to live together, the choice to reproduce together, or the intention extended romance, friendship or company, etc. Symbolism and gifts are not an inherent to or necessary in order to validate a marriage, but are often used culturally to demonstrate this commitment.”
Aishu Nallapillai
Dartmouth ’19. Miami, FL. 20 years old. Single.
“A mutual eternal binding of two people partaking in an intimate and personal relationship.”
Charlie Levy
Dartmouth ’19. Atlanta, GA. 20 years old. Single.
“A union between two individuals. Linked in court.”
Zach Johnson
Dartmouth ’19. Los Angeles, CA. 20 years old. In a relationship.
“60 percent divorce. Three of my dad’s siblings are now divorced.”
Greyson Cohen
Dartmouth ’19. New York, NY. 20 years old. Single.
“The government should mostly stay out of it.”
Corinne Vietorisz
Dartmouth ’19. New Canaan, CT. 20 years old. Single.
“I define marriage as a union between two people who are committed to and love each other for emotional and physical benefit. Mic drop…”
Victor Cabrera
Dartmouth ’19. Miami, FL. 20 years old. Single.
“The legal, and purely legal, unification of two peoples’ state-defined benefits (i.e. private property, capital, power of attorney, etc.)”
Connie Lee
Dartmouth ’18. Friendswood, TX. 19 years old. Single.
“Marriage is a means of formalizing a romantic commitment between people. You know how people are psychologically more likely to keep promises that are written down or otherwise formalized. Yah. Marriage is psychological mind tricks.”
Sam Albertsen
Dartmouth ’19. Walnut Creek, CA. 20 years old. Single.
“The lifetime binding of two partners.”
Kevin Gross
Dartmouth ’19. Surry, NH. 20 years old. Single.

“An integration of multiple constituents to form a distinct, new unit.”

PJ O’Sullivan
Dartmouth ’19. 20 years old. Single.
“Marriage is a sacred communion between two entities (human or otherwise) in which they consecrate the ultimate primal bond, linked not only sexually, but also through bank accounts and whatnot.”
Danica Rodriguez
Dartmouth ’18. New York City. Single.
“Marriage to me is promising to always choose another person, no matter the peril, the distance, no matter the argument. You choose to love them with all that you have to give, which is hard and it’s work, but it comes with the most beautiful of outcomes. You get the honor and privilege of being someone else’s someone. You now have a person who loves you just as much and just as hard as you do them. I find fate and “not being able to choose who you love” kind of crap, marriage is choosing with all your heart and having that reciprocated.”
Jiarui Wang 
Dartmouth ’18. Pennsylvania. 20 years old.
“Okay. So being a hopeless romantic I used to believe that it was this great celebration of love blah blah blah greeting card sentiments. After that, the cynic in me thought it was more to conform to societal expectations and for tax benefits (which actually isn’t true; there’s actually a tax *on* marriage if you and your spouse make about the same amount – can you tell I’m an econ major?). I think my current thoughts are it’s a formal kind of declaration to friends/family of your intents to be with someone. But (hopefully) those intents were quite clear before you decided to marry, so in a sense it really is a formality. Perhaps it’s more for the benefits of the bride and groom’s family friends, since that’s probably the first time both side’s extended family and friends get together.
So in a sense, a marriage is both an important mark in a relationship and not at the same time. In a lot of Baltic countries (Sweden for example, I believe) there’s an increasing number of cohabiting couples simply because young people there don’t really see the point of being married or not. I guess that means it also means whatever you and your partner personally attach to it.”
Abi Caro. 
Florida.
“Well  its like always waking up next your best friend and always caring for them through good and bad and always keeping your eye on them and not anyone else like loving them more everyday.”
Daniela Garcia 
Dartmouth ’19. Miami, Fl. Single
“Marriage is a social, political, economic and spiritual bond between two people founded on the principles of love, trust, and companionship. It is something that will hopefully link you with someone for life and a way in which you can take full pleasure of parenthood and growing old together. Of course there is a growing number of divorces and I think it may be partly because people feel the urge to get married fast or because sometimes economic factors such as struggling to make ends meet gets in the way of the relationship.”
Annaly Conway
Miami, Fl. 20 years old. Married.
“I chose to get married because I wanted to share my life with someone else and flourish together. It’s not just about feelings but about choosing to love that person even when it’s hard. A lot of people in today’s culture have the idea that you must have everything in your life preset and ready before you get married. But in actuality it can often times make it more difficult once you’re married because you now have two completely different lives coming together, so many years of experiences and habits not shared, that now have to intermix. More than a cultural tradition, marriage to me was a choice to share and grow with another person and watching God work in our lives every step of the way.”
Chiara Tosi. 
Italy. Engaged.
“Per me matrimonio significa innanzitutto fedeltà e impegno, perché nella mia famiglia nessuno ha mai divorziato, e penso che sia importante per eventuali figli avere una famiglia unita, quando possibile. Quindi matrimonio é the ultimate impegno. Nel senso che per me é importante non sposarsi di fretta, ma essere sicuri al 100% di voler stare con quella persona, di essere d’accordo sulle cose importanti (progetti per il futuro) e di essere pronti a impegnarsi per far funzionare il matrimonio anche se ci sono difficoltà. Non ammetto il tradimento, se si é sposati, penso che sia la cosa peggiore che una persona possa fare. In Italia in genere c’é molta meno pressione sociale sullo sposarsi in fretta, é normale essere fidanzati per molti anni prima di sposarsi.”
“For me, marriage means above all fidelity and hard work, because in my family no one has ever gotten divorced, and I think it is important for eventual children to have a united family, when possible. Therefore, marriage is the ultimate commitment. In the sense that for me it is important to not get married in a rush, but to be 100% sure that you want to be with this person, that you are in agreement over the important things (future plans) and that you are ready to work to make the marriage work even if there are difficulties along the way. I don’t allow cheating, if you are married, I think that is the worse thing that a person can do. In Italy specially there is a lot less pressure to get married in a rush and it is normal to be in a relationship for many years before you get married.”
Jason Linehan & Hena Waseem
*As the were making their wedding invitations in the Book Arts Workshop*
“It’s a pain in the ass; it’s a death wish. No, actually, marriage is fine. ‘Wedding’ as a verb is a pain in the ass.”